My Personal List of "Self-Help" Sources
Self-improvement has recently received a lot of warranted flack. YouTubers and public idols have turned it into a business, where they claim that "just for $10 a month, you can become the ideal person of your dreams!" They sell the dream but undercut the method. Leaving most with $10 fewer and disillusioned on what self improvement really is. Self-help initiatives are now seen as a form of desperation and deep flaw.
Something about a human being openly wanting to grow and learn in an intimate, non-academic way, is somewhat frowned upon. There is something seemingly artificial about a person deliberately recalibrating their fundamental behaviors and thought patterns. This is even the case when it comes to mental health and seeking therapeutic intervention. There was a time, in ancient history, where mastery of our emotional and personal selves were the ultimate goal!
If you look closely, the desire for self-improvement is truly constant across all of us. We all would like more control over our immediate selves, to the point where we can be proud of who we are. At one point, I realized that I could consciously alter who I was, however tedious, it would be worth it. "Self-help" should be viewed as the rejection of the default settings learned throughout the first 19 years of your life. It reminds me of computers with powerful, adaptable hardware that still run an older version of the original software; with a quick update, the computer would generally improve and save countless headaches.
Okay, now that I am done with the priming, I will introduce some of the most influential sources of information that have fundamentally changed my mind. The following are in order in need-to-read:
1. Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton
I cannot explain what this did for me, but I will try anyway. Most people don't realize that you are born into a culture with an extremely specific structure. This culture seeps into you the way a white sheet of paper soaks up liquid ink. Its beliefs, outlooks, moods, norms, jokes, etc. become instilled within you, all without the consent or knowledge of the receiver. This book, this work of art, helps distill just how much ink you absorbed, while necessarily forcing you to question the structure of your life and beliefs. For what it means, I have given this book as a gift 3 times now.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Status-Anxiety-Alain-Botton/dp/0375725350
2. The School of Life - YouTube Channel/Institute
Have you ever felt a certain way but just did not know how to explain it? Well, The School of Life has literally turned my thoughts into articulated sentences with accompanying visuals. They are the culmination of hundreds of years of human knowledge and suffering. They explain topics of everyday life that we all take for granted but are paradoxically the crux of being a human. They developed a type of formula for observing, interpreting, and delivering information about everyday existence that is unmatched. I am so grateful for this to exist, so please give them a try.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog
3. The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli
When I was 18, after graduating high-school, I began to question if I saw the world as it truly was. How awesome it would be, I thought, if I could teach myself to use the sensory information we all receive to reach a more accurate perception of the physical world. This book was the first thing I read that taught me some of the flaws and limitations of the human brain. Most people don't realize that the brain is not created perfectly, and depending on its environment, it can be wildly misled and inaccurate. Any book that helps you learn and avoid some of the common innate errors of the brain, could serve in lieu for the 3rd source.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Art-Thinking-Clearly-Rolf-Dobelli/dp/0062219693
4. The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
This might be farfetched to say, but I think this book was the catalyst for the journey of my self-improvement. I was always an anxious kid, and one of my old bosses let me borrow this book from her. It has to deal with mindfulness, meditation, and conceptual distinctions. I was 18 at the time, however, I had an itching curiosity about life and the limits of the brain. This book did something critical for me during this impressionable age: it forced me to realize that I am not my thoughts, feelings or emotions. Furthermore, it made me start paying attention to the little things, and to start asking some deeper questions. Any book that deals with mindfulness could serve in lieu. Another example is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I cannot relate to the spiritual side of of it, but I can get down with the changing thought/mind patterns aspect of it. Definitely a good software upgrade ;), one that makes your computer self-aware.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Living-Unlocking-Science-Happiness/dp/0307347311
5. Specific types of friends/mentors
It may seem odd putting friends fourth on the list, but it is for a good reason. You want to try to have somewhat of solid grounding before introducing other humans into your improvement regimen. It is difficult, especially at the beginning, to sort helpful friends from unhelpful friends. It is not a who-is-at-fault thing, rather some people just tend to push us in the right direction; most of the time, and in my personal life, these friends were almost always handpicked. It may sound methodical and fake, but what is more beautiful than a friendship that was intentional and desired? As you get better at observing people, you see qualities that will make for a strong mentor/friend, such as intelligence, curiosity, honesty, reliableness, etc. These types of friends and mentors provide a massive pool of knowledge and perspective.
Link: Start looking around you
6. Lying by Sam Harris
Sam Harris is beyond clever, truly loves science, and is a truth seeker. He wrote this short book about lying, and why you should never, ever lie (white lies are still lies). Lying is human, normal, and also detrimental to your self-awareness. The book stresses the importance of the truth at all times, and even more importantly, being honest with yourself. If one cannot be honest with them self, they haven't even begun the race of self-improvement.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Lying-Sam-Harris/dp/1940051002
7. The Joe Rogan Experience - YouTube Channel
If you look closely, the desire for self-improvement is truly constant across all of us. We all would like more control over our immediate selves, to the point where we can be proud of who we are. At one point, I realized that I could consciously alter who I was, however tedious, it would be worth it. "Self-help" should be viewed as the rejection of the default settings learned throughout the first 19 years of your life. It reminds me of computers with powerful, adaptable hardware that still run an older version of the original software; with a quick update, the computer would generally improve and save countless headaches.
Okay, now that I am done with the priming, I will introduce some of the most influential sources of information that have fundamentally changed my mind. The following are in order in need-to-read:
1. Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton
I cannot explain what this did for me, but I will try anyway. Most people don't realize that you are born into a culture with an extremely specific structure. This culture seeps into you the way a white sheet of paper soaks up liquid ink. Its beliefs, outlooks, moods, norms, jokes, etc. become instilled within you, all without the consent or knowledge of the receiver. This book, this work of art, helps distill just how much ink you absorbed, while necessarily forcing you to question the structure of your life and beliefs. For what it means, I have given this book as a gift 3 times now.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Status-Anxiety-Alain-Botton/dp/0375725350
2. The School of Life - YouTube Channel/Institute
Have you ever felt a certain way but just did not know how to explain it? Well, The School of Life has literally turned my thoughts into articulated sentences with accompanying visuals. They are the culmination of hundreds of years of human knowledge and suffering. They explain topics of everyday life that we all take for granted but are paradoxically the crux of being a human. They developed a type of formula for observing, interpreting, and delivering information about everyday existence that is unmatched. I am so grateful for this to exist, so please give them a try.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog
3. The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli
When I was 18, after graduating high-school, I began to question if I saw the world as it truly was. How awesome it would be, I thought, if I could teach myself to use the sensory information we all receive to reach a more accurate perception of the physical world. This book was the first thing I read that taught me some of the flaws and limitations of the human brain. Most people don't realize that the brain is not created perfectly, and depending on its environment, it can be wildly misled and inaccurate. Any book that helps you learn and avoid some of the common innate errors of the brain, could serve in lieu for the 3rd source.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Art-Thinking-Clearly-Rolf-Dobelli/dp/0062219693
4. The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
This might be farfetched to say, but I think this book was the catalyst for the journey of my self-improvement. I was always an anxious kid, and one of my old bosses let me borrow this book from her. It has to deal with mindfulness, meditation, and conceptual distinctions. I was 18 at the time, however, I had an itching curiosity about life and the limits of the brain. This book did something critical for me during this impressionable age: it forced me to realize that I am not my thoughts, feelings or emotions. Furthermore, it made me start paying attention to the little things, and to start asking some deeper questions. Any book that deals with mindfulness could serve in lieu. Another example is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I cannot relate to the spiritual side of of it, but I can get down with the changing thought/mind patterns aspect of it. Definitely a good software upgrade ;), one that makes your computer self-aware.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Living-Unlocking-Science-Happiness/dp/0307347311
5. Specific types of friends/mentors
It may seem odd putting friends fourth on the list, but it is for a good reason. You want to try to have somewhat of solid grounding before introducing other humans into your improvement regimen. It is difficult, especially at the beginning, to sort helpful friends from unhelpful friends. It is not a who-is-at-fault thing, rather some people just tend to push us in the right direction; most of the time, and in my personal life, these friends were almost always handpicked. It may sound methodical and fake, but what is more beautiful than a friendship that was intentional and desired? As you get better at observing people, you see qualities that will make for a strong mentor/friend, such as intelligence, curiosity, honesty, reliableness, etc. These types of friends and mentors provide a massive pool of knowledge and perspective.
Link: Start looking around you
6. Lying by Sam Harris
Sam Harris is beyond clever, truly loves science, and is a truth seeker. He wrote this short book about lying, and why you should never, ever lie (white lies are still lies). Lying is human, normal, and also detrimental to your self-awareness. The book stresses the importance of the truth at all times, and even more importantly, being honest with yourself. If one cannot be honest with them self, they haven't even begun the race of self-improvement.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Lying-Sam-Harris/dp/1940051002
7. The Joe Rogan Experience - YouTube Channel
Joe Rogan has set up something really special. He has one of the longest running podcast, where he interviews all types of people. The diversity here is ridiculous, ranging from comedians to doctors, athletes to entrepreneurs, and everything in between. The diversity and the differing perspectives offered through this platform have augmented my view of the world, especially in this long-format dialogue. Part of self-improving involves understanding the complexities of different subcultures and worlds. Joe Rogan's style of interview, along with observing (watching the video version) two humans get into deep, intimate conversation, really has made an impact on my worldview.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzQUP1qoWDoEbmsQxvdjxgQ
8. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
I read this book on the recommendation of my coworker, half expecting to read some philosophical jargon. In actuality, I encountered an extremely pragmatic and practical take on life and its meaning. Frankl is a psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, therefor his perspective on the entire thing is profound. He is well acquainted with suffering and pain, beyond anything imaginable. Frankl explains that life is more simple than we make it out to be. If you read it carefully, you can see his take on the practicality of your behavior and decisions, and the roles they play in the meaning of your life.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X
9. 12 Rules for Life by Jordan B. Peterson
Peterson's book exercises your thinking muscles by challenging how you perceive modern society and life. This book persuaded me that maybe values are important. Moreover, logically thinking about how to best arrive at your own personal values and virtues. He explains the importance of repelling self-pity and how assuming more responsibility can alleviate some of the anxiety we all feel. His words are practical, concise, and based in logic.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/0345816021
... the list will continue as I come across more sources
Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzQUP1qoWDoEbmsQxvdjxgQ
8. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
I read this book on the recommendation of my coworker, half expecting to read some philosophical jargon. In actuality, I encountered an extremely pragmatic and practical take on life and its meaning. Frankl is a psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, therefor his perspective on the entire thing is profound. He is well acquainted with suffering and pain, beyond anything imaginable. Frankl explains that life is more simple than we make it out to be. If you read it carefully, you can see his take on the practicality of your behavior and decisions, and the roles they play in the meaning of your life.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X
9. 12 Rules for Life by Jordan B. Peterson
Peterson's book exercises your thinking muscles by challenging how you perceive modern society and life. This book persuaded me that maybe values are important. Moreover, logically thinking about how to best arrive at your own personal values and virtues. He explains the importance of repelling self-pity and how assuming more responsibility can alleviate some of the anxiety we all feel. His words are practical, concise, and based in logic.
Link: https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/0345816021
... the list will continue as I come across more sources
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