Growing Pains

Eckhart Tolle and many mindfulness/"spiritual" teachers state that one should not become attached to fruit of one's labor. I interpret this as not doing things solely for their rewards. However, under closer inspection, it also means being detached from things you worked so hard to get. The human brain is wired to feel a loss much more deeply than a gain. So, to me this is one the most challenging things a human can do. Lately I have been experiencing a lot of changes, albeit for the better, but difficult nonetheless. My best friend and I talk about change in our lives and how to best cope and grow from it.

Difficulty in change is especially poignant in my interpersonal life and my daily life, as many can probably relate. I try so hard to surround myself with people that I love and that love me back. I painstakingly handpick those people in my inner circle and nurture the relationships. I create this beauty of a network of friends and family. This has been the case for the last two years of my college life, where I had a rocky start and felt very alone. Slowly but surely I managed to end up living with two of my best friends and honing my daily routine down to be something I fell in love with; I have found I am the most happy when my daily routine is crafted to perfection with my own two hands: an intricate dance between college classes, personal time, time spent with my gf, time spent with my roommates and family, gym, personal reading, and personal growth. I have become so ridiculously attached to this routine that I am having trouble letting it go. I put so much sweat into coordinating a lifestyle that fulfills me beyond anything I have experienced before. It makes me happier than the idea of a lot of money, a perfect house, or a perfect job.

I understand this is a good problem to have. I wouldn't prefer trying to run from my current situation in hopes of finding a better one. I take responsibility for my life and create that shit into my liking right this instance and try to live for the now. However, I have a difficult time envisioning an even better future because the one I have now is seemingly so perfect. My friend and I talk about how these changes in what we love are synonymous to growing pains. These growing pains are especially common in those that know how to enjoy life in the small moments and who take the time to consistently create their own best life. We don't sulk or complain, wishful think and hope, rather we grab our tool box and materials and we craft our day-to-day home. So when it comes time to leave this home we built, we feel it deep within our psych.

Maybe there is a lesson in not being attached to outcomes. The meat of what there is to learn and enjoy is in the journey itself. I trust myself, and my best friend, to continue creating the life we most desire. We haven't peaked, and this is because we are sculptors who continue molding the clay of life into exactly what we want.