Gratitude for Great Friends
I want to take a moment to explain in detail my deep gratitude for my two closest friends: Quinn and David.
If I look closely, they are more than friends. They have become teachers, mentors, fellow companions of this human condition. They are able to shape-shift from a listening ear to a formidable opponent during discourse. They are able to steal words out of my mouth and pinpoint things about myself, to which i am ignorant about. When I step back I can see they are an extension of my own brain, and that is exactly how we use each other daily. Whether it is our experiences, emotions, fatigue, thoughts, beliefs, or visions, we use each other's minds to relief, vet, exercise, examine, dump, explore, cry, or understand. We have honed this down to a skill, allowing me to broaden the scope of my understanding of human life; they have become nothing but experts at distilling information and human behavior, allowing for seamless and detailed exchanges of information. That is something I will never be able to fully repay them for; being able to fit hundreds of years of existence and understanding within one lifetime by truly connecting with other humans is the pinnacle of intelligence. I have been able to reach different, but equally important mutualistic symbiotic relationships with them both. They are unaware of how much they have guided my development and growth in the past 3 years.
They walk throughout their daily life full of curiosity. Constantly learning and growing keeps them sharp and flexible. They maintain healthy levels of skepticism and never fully let me sink into the madness that is regular modern human life. They just don't live to react, but rather they are alive enough to act. I have witnessed them grow, shift, and recalibrate who they are. They, at one point or another, understood and decided that they can and will assume responsibility of who they are; they consume different sources of human knowledge to refine this understanding; they then apply it to their daily life and interactions. This is why I love and respect them.
Their brains are two of the most active and anxious brains I've ever come across. They worry about shit I have never imagined or that it was something that could even be feared in anticipation. They have both faced their own personal challenges and both have triumphed over their distinct adversities. Not because they reached some material or physical state free of these hurdles, but rather a shift in perspectives allowed them to overtake their problems. The both know how to suffer with courage.
They also enjoy the smaller things in life, so I often find myself talking with them on long walks or at the beach. Special detail is paid to their daily routines and the things they love the most. They are nothing but practical and thoughtful. I find myself picking up on their ideologies, jokes and mannerisms. I can relate to them so much that they somehow keep my deep sense of aloneness at bay. I think that maybe life isn't so difficult and frightening when you have such close friends.
I want to end by saying something counterintuitive: being this close with people is extremely difficult. It more than difficult, it almost feels unnatural. It is something I don't quite understand about the human brain yet. There is some deep inner resistance (maybe it is cognitively taxing or some limit built into the infrastructure of the brain?) when it comes to sharing, opening up, reaching out, and building these types of relationships. Sometimes I don't want to pick up the phone when they call. Sometimes I want to be fully insular and not reach out to them. A part of me right now would rather prefer to watch TV right now than to be writing this. Overcoming this akrasia is my life's goal and the underlying challenge. But it is worth every single ounce of sacrifice.
If I look closely, they are more than friends. They have become teachers, mentors, fellow companions of this human condition. They are able to shape-shift from a listening ear to a formidable opponent during discourse. They are able to steal words out of my mouth and pinpoint things about myself, to which i am ignorant about. When I step back I can see they are an extension of my own brain, and that is exactly how we use each other daily. Whether it is our experiences, emotions, fatigue, thoughts, beliefs, or visions, we use each other's minds to relief, vet, exercise, examine, dump, explore, cry, or understand. We have honed this down to a skill, allowing me to broaden the scope of my understanding of human life; they have become nothing but experts at distilling information and human behavior, allowing for seamless and detailed exchanges of information. That is something I will never be able to fully repay them for; being able to fit hundreds of years of existence and understanding within one lifetime by truly connecting with other humans is the pinnacle of intelligence. I have been able to reach different, but equally important mutualistic symbiotic relationships with them both. They are unaware of how much they have guided my development and growth in the past 3 years.
They walk throughout their daily life full of curiosity. Constantly learning and growing keeps them sharp and flexible. They maintain healthy levels of skepticism and never fully let me sink into the madness that is regular modern human life. They just don't live to react, but rather they are alive enough to act. I have witnessed them grow, shift, and recalibrate who they are. They, at one point or another, understood and decided that they can and will assume responsibility of who they are; they consume different sources of human knowledge to refine this understanding; they then apply it to their daily life and interactions. This is why I love and respect them.
Their brains are two of the most active and anxious brains I've ever come across. They worry about shit I have never imagined or that it was something that could even be feared in anticipation. They have both faced their own personal challenges and both have triumphed over their distinct adversities. Not because they reached some material or physical state free of these hurdles, but rather a shift in perspectives allowed them to overtake their problems. The both know how to suffer with courage.
They also enjoy the smaller things in life, so I often find myself talking with them on long walks or at the beach. Special detail is paid to their daily routines and the things they love the most. They are nothing but practical and thoughtful. I find myself picking up on their ideologies, jokes and mannerisms. I can relate to them so much that they somehow keep my deep sense of aloneness at bay. I think that maybe life isn't so difficult and frightening when you have such close friends.
I want to end by saying something counterintuitive: being this close with people is extremely difficult. It more than difficult, it almost feels unnatural. It is something I don't quite understand about the human brain yet. There is some deep inner resistance (maybe it is cognitively taxing or some limit built into the infrastructure of the brain?) when it comes to sharing, opening up, reaching out, and building these types of relationships. Sometimes I don't want to pick up the phone when they call. Sometimes I want to be fully insular and not reach out to them. A part of me right now would rather prefer to watch TV right now than to be writing this. Overcoming this akrasia is my life's goal and the underlying challenge. But it is worth every single ounce of sacrifice.
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